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I have been friends for more than 20 years, a person who's overcome numerous hardships, and I respect her for that. However, she's repeatedly caught off guard in relationships. Her spouse walked away, and it was an unexpected event. Several of close acquaintances disappeared at that point, since they had been focused solely on the spouse. This surprised her. She made greater energy in our friendship, and must have realised better the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, quite a few of her friends have disappeared and she isn't knowing the cause. Her last employer turned on her, although she was an excellent employee, and she left unaware of what had changed.

Present Situation

Lately, both of us stepped back from work leading to more time together, however, I feel my position in our friendship feels one-sided. I start topics of conversation and she changes the talk toward what interests her. In terms of politics, she has unyielding views. I attempt to recommend verifying facts and different perspectives.

She's been organizing a vacation to a country I know well many times and resided in for a while. I attempted to provide advice, yet it was met with resistance. She essentially only wanted my agreement with her plans. I have ended four weeks there she hopes to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to act as a friend that walks away without explanation, however, I feel she can understand the effect of her behaviour on my confidence. At this point, I find myself in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

It's possible to end things abruptly, yet this is seldom the peaceful resolution that we desire. But confrontation with the goal of a solution requires bravery and openness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially involves describing what typically happens when you talk. Aim for this to be as factual as possible and essentially exactly what occurs. Next is to express her how it makes you feel. This allows for no dispute here. Emotions belong to you, of course. Finally is to ask how you are both can shift the pattern of your friendship."

Keep in mind that she also has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to listen to her. A helpful technique is to say your friend:

"It's your turn to speak while I will not say anything for 30 minutes."

This can be successful to encourage better communication.

Closing Considerations

She could ignore all you say, since certain individuals cling to a “survival narrative”: they maintain a version regarding their experiences they cannot release because their very survival relies on it and it represents they've known. This is difficult because there's no thoroughfare here, mere obstacles. Yet she could initially present like this and then think on your words. If you don't achieve a resolution, it will give you peace knowing you were truthful.